2015-08-15: Food Requires Lights

We ate a bunch yesterday what with the diner love and all. Now we are fuelled up with energy and ready for excitement! We don't really feel we ticked off any hardcore tourist checklist items recently and that is what we live for! I dream of checklists occasionally... Times Square is pretty damn check listy!

We also dream of the days when you could go home with a slide-show and bore your friends to tears!

I also kind of dream of visiting back in the days when Times Square was crazy dangerous. Anthony Bourdain claims to have sold his record collection here for heroin money. I would have wanted to go and then been told I wasn't allowed, just like Gorbals in Newcastle. I wanted to go there because in A Clockwork Orange they say "A right kick in the Gorbals".  I was advised that if I went I would almost certainly receive such a kick.
Fortunately I don't have to actually do the stupid things, I mostly like knowing I could and lack the self preservation skills to stop once I know I can.
I am lucky that mostly I am surrounded by people that stop me doing the stupid things. I guess a lot of other people don't have that advantage and need the Gub'ment to remove the stupid temptations from their path. Or corporations who, apparently, turned Times Square into a tourist centre. One way to stop me getting kicked in the nads anyway.

Sometimes they follow me waiting for the chance to stop me doing stupid things. I like to think it is me being thoughtful and giving them a purpose in life.

Nowadays Times Square is checklisty in a tedious manner. Apparently you have to go but there are more shiny lights in Japan and the Japanese do risque much better (so the internet says anyway - actually the internet is no end of places which I have been told we can't go to locally as well).

Pretty lights, but I know this food is the same as anywhere else and I won't fall for it. If anything this is the worst thing for Time Square to have, everyone knows McDonalds is not unique, when you see it in lights it makes you doubt the other lights. At least there wasn't a fake diner.

Recently there has been a bit of controversy because uncovered boobs aren't illegal in New York and a bunch of Ladies figured they could attract more people taking tourist photos with boobs than a superman impersonator could (some other Ladies are doing different things to highlight the weirdness of the rules, mostly they are not in Times Square, I think they are in Brooklyn but when we go there I get distracted by pizza and ignore boobs).

I use adblock on the net. To me this is just a bunch of spaces which need filling and reducing..

The Ladies earning money with their boobs were apparently correct. Many of their boobs are quite incredible to see. I have a weird upbringing and poor impulse control so I have no photos with the boobs. I have none with the superman either, but that is a matter of personal ethics; stupid superman.

I tend to focus on the subject I find most important. (I kissed her afterwards because I am somewhat romantic. Or at least obedient to the rules of romanticism)

In retrospect I think I should have given the Boobs Ladies some money because I am in favour of what they are doing more than I am in favour of the stupid superman.

Flustered she is! Apparently it was a good kiss I gave her.

What I am in certainly in favour of financially supporting is the waiter at the Brazilian restaurant who, upon learning we were Polish and New Zealander, welcomed Ewa with Polish greetings and then ran off to the back room computer to google maori welcomes.

Yep must have been a damn good kiss, this was 200 metres walking and she was still all heady. I must be a devastating God of Seduction.

I speak almost no Maori and so I couldn't even comment on his pronunciation. It was probably better than mine. I make better Caipirinha's though (when I have the stuff to do it)

These are the Ladies being complained about. I mean those are some horrifically crap fake boobs on the left there but you should see the superman and the spiderman. Now they are a crime against belief.

Didn't see the Naked Cowboy. I guess he is out rustling or something. Probably going to have to chase him down wherever he is. I assume at a ranch somewhere.